Hurry up and wait

What could possibly be taking so long?

That seems to be the question most people ask when they give me the quizzical look every time they ask me how the adoption is going and I tell them “just waiting.” 

Most people who haven’t been through an adoption believe it’s just a matter if filling out some forms, doing a background check and “Voila!” you fly to China to pick up your gurgling, giggling, pooping baby bundle.   If only it was that easy.    

Most of us have dealt with the inefficiency and layers of bureaucracy when trying to get something accomplished with a government agency.  It’s an endless maze of jumping through hoops, paperwork shuffling and lots of begging.  Now think what it would be like to do this with two countries, and you will begin to get a picture of what we are dealing with.  Right now we are in the phase of “hurry up and wait.”  Waiting on China to finish their approvals, waiting on the U.S. to finish the immigration approvals …. waiting …. and waiting. 

When we were matched with Matthew we received a “pre-approval” from China on August 9, which is a confirmation that our dossier was received by the China Center for Children's Welfare and Adoption (CCCWA) and our paperwork will then be moved to the next phase. 

So now here I sit and wait for our LOA – the Letter of Approval which is officially the “official” acceptance of us to be the child’s parents.  Keep in mind we had to be approved when we turned in our initial application to the agency, plus approved by the USCIS (U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services) before we even turned in our dossier to be mailed to China. 

The problem now is we have no idea how long it will take for us to get our LOA.   Our dossier has to get translated into Chinese by the CCCWA and then reviewed by that agency to make sure everything is complete and there are no other questions or documentation needed by China before issuing that approval.   Therein lies the mystery … no one, not even the adoption agencies it seems, know how far along each family is in the review process.  An agency may know if a family is out of translation and under review but that’s about it.   These days it may take anywhere from 40 to 120 days for the LOA to be issued (and that’s a very rough guestimate).   There are some families who receive it in just over a month and other who have to wait almost four months and no one knows why there is such a fluctuation in approval times.  Some families do have issues with their paperwork that need to be corrected but there are others that have no apparent reason for the longer wait. 

As of September 12th we are on day 35 waiting for the LOA.  That’s a lot of time to be obsessively checking email for the notification, chocolate eating and otherwise driving Jason crazy.  It doesn’t help that I work a night shift so when it’s quiet and I’m bored I can’t help but think about the child waiting for us in an orphanage on the other side of the world. 

Plus, how do you get a four-year-old to understand why we can’t go ahead and leave to get her brother?  Julia knows Matthew is her brother and she’s excited so I hate having to tell her we can’t go get him yet. 

Once we get our LOA there are a few more bridges to cross before we can travel and I will get into that at a later time.   Until then, I wait and Matthew waits. 

I really can’t wait to kiss those cheeks.